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Sangheetha's avatar

Oh yeah, in the last few months this has actually been the framework I've been thinking about NYC in. Purely because when catching up with acquaintances I realized staying here is one of my biggest certainties, whereas as you say, people like to preserve optionality, almost on instinct. Great post!

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Benjamin Parry's avatar

It’s a wonderful analogy and I think it was event to include your bullet points on how to know if “you’re ready”.

Knowing what we are looking for in a partner comes relatively easy to most: looks, personality, shared vision of the future etc. For the city we haven’t developed the skills to as easily identify what our ‘type’ should be.

The analogy also raises the question for me about how important it is travel to and live in other cities? Perhaps like modern dating the answer is *maybe* it can be helpful to collect more data but actually the commitment itself is more important.

Getting married after many - ultimately ephemeral - partnerships appears to be more of a predictor for failure to commit than an accumulation of wisdom.

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